Sunday, 30 April 2017

Five things I'm going to miss

Buggering off to another country comes with its fair share of stresses and worries. Have I got everything packed? Am I going to run into any trouble during the trip there? Will I make any friends there, or spend the entire trip moping in a corner eating instant noodles and spam? Does any of it, cosmically speaking, matter?

Well, I'm not entirely sure I'm qualified to answer that last question, and lack the foresight to answer the rest of them, but I can at least think on some of the things that I'm going to miss, because ruminating on them is totally gonna make things easier, right? Here are five things about living in the UK that I'm gonna miss. Probably.
1) The bus service
Affordable. Reliable. Comfortable. These are just some of the words that I would absolutely never use to describe the buses here. Just skirting the very edges of some major Geneva Convention violations, the bus service in the South West of England are - well, they're shit. That about sums it up really. There's that special feeling you get when you've waited in the pissing rain for forty minutes for an overcrowded bus that smells of vomit and disappointment, are treated with disdain and disgust by a driver who looks like he's been asked to drive across an active war zone rather than up and down an A-road all day, and then pay four quid for the privilege - and that feeling is defeat. A must-try for anyone looking to visit the UK.

2) The rain
Water! One of the building blocks of life itself! Without it, we would not be able to grow our crops, to construct our buildings, to unpack those funny little dehydrated towels you can get. Of course, it's only natural that it would need restocking from time to time - luckily, in Britain, it falls from the very skies themselves!


3) The food
Potatoes! Carrots! Broccoli! All inexplicably boiled! There's nothing like the taste of British food, and that's mainly due to laws on chemical weaponry. I'll miss the taste of salt and not much else.

4) The media
Fun fact: around 80% of the British media is owned by an Australian! Said media often publishes a lot of quite nasty things. Can't help but wonder why he's not living in Australia any more. Did they kick him out? Or were they just not nasty enough for him?

5) The people
Gotta love a country that think all of the above are something to be proud of.

Sarcasm aside, there's a lot to love about the UK, but I'm not really going to miss that stuff too much - family and friends are what'll be the hardest to live without. Still, I'm sure I'll find some more on my travels, eh?

Oh, also I worry I might miss some episodes of Doctor Who. On second thoughts, maybe I should see if I can delay the trip a little . . .

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