Tuesday, 3 October 2017

I went home

You might be wondering why this blog hasn't been updated in a while. Well, it's pretty simple. I came home.

When I set out on my trip, it was to have an adventure, to have fun. But to be honest, I spent most of my time feeling homesick and lonely. Every day just became a fight against misery. And I couldn't be arsed to be dealing with that.

So yeah. I'm back.

Friday, 28 July 2017

Stevie goes exploring: QAGOMA

Whatever you do, don't make him angry . . . no. Wait. Wrong guy.
I know, I know, I'm terrible. I've not updated in a hell of a long time. Well, a few weeks anyway. Which is apparently enough to get my told off by my own mother, who has no social media presence and gets all of her knowledge of my travels from this blog - and not Twitter, or Instagram, or even Facebook, where I talk about all of this shit a hell of a lot more - it's just easier. So anyway, this one's for you, mum - a little piece about my trip to the Queensland Art Gallery/Gallery of Modern Art (QAGOMA, for some reason).

Friday, 14 July 2017

Stevie goes sleeping: The Capsule Hotel

Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of . . .

Yeah, I'm gonna stop myself right there. It's too fuckin' easy.

So! I have finally visited Sydney! It's . . . a city. Big buildings, lotsa people, surprisingly little live music. But while I was there I did decide to treat myself a little, and spend a couple of nights in a hotel - a rather different kind of
hotel . . .

Saturday, 8 July 2017

Stevie goes exploring: Katoomba

Bloody hell, it's been a while since I've written anything! I'll start with the obvious: I'm not dead. I am one hundred percent still amongst the living. I'm sure some of you have been having your doubts. So, I hear you ask, what have I been doing instead of keeping you updated on my numerous adventures? Well, I've been . . . having adventures. Which is really the subject of this post - my week in Katoomba.

Sunday, 25 June 2017

The man who fell to Earth

I wanted to do a hovertext pun, but I'm just not feeling it today.
Not pictured: my face rippling from the acceleration.
I jumped out of an aeroplane on Friday. Actually got a video filmed of the whole thing too - but honestly, it's one of the most horrifying things I've ever seen, and I wouldn't want to subject it to my worst enemies, so instead of some still photos instead, where you can't see my head being turned inside out by the acceleration. Gravity, thou art a cruel mistress.

Thursday, 22 June 2017

Stevie goes exploring: Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary

Still adorable mind.
Koalas are BASTARDS who just won't pose for the camera.
It's official I have been in more than one Australian state! I mean, that was true already, 'cos my plane landed in Queensland and I'm currently in New South Wales, but still - I've actually been there for something other than a minibus journey somewhere else. Why, you ask? To go and gawp at the animals at Currumbin Wildlife Sanctuary.

Wednesday, 14 June 2017

Stevie goes exploring: Ballina

A rare snapshot taken between showers of pissing rain.
Ballina! a half hour away from Byron Bay (where I'm currently residing, as you might have gathered) but a world apart at the same time.

Now, you may be asking yourself: why did he venture here? What could possibly lure him away from the hippies and the beaches and the bits of national park that he hasn't explored yet?

Well, the answer's simple: I had to hand in some paperwork. And I wanted to go and see Wonder Woman.

Thursday, 8 June 2017

The news at 10

I put on my fancy newsreader glasses for this and everything!

Stevie goes exploring: Arakwal National Park & Tallow Beach

Oh hey, I can add hovertext!
Not pictured: Cthulhu rising from the depths
Okay, I know I've only been here a week and a half, but I have already been to a butt-ton of totally awesome places that I want to rant and rave and generally make some noise about. And I will! Just . . . not all at once. I mean, I have other things I need to do today, yaknow? I was gonna go out and buy some doughnuts later. Can't really do that if I'm slaving behind a keyboard. With that in mind, here are two totally awesome places that I have visited so far - Arakwal National Park, and Tallow Beach!

Thursday, 1 June 2017

A long-expected journey

In a hole, in the ground, there lived . . . no, wait, wrong adventure.
Bloody hell, that was a long trip. around ten thousand miles - probably more, given the detour to Guangzhou (my thoughts on Guangzhou - its airport is most definitely a large area with lots of aeroplanes.)

But I'm here! Australia! The great frontier, land of sun, surf, sandwiches of the Vegemite variety - and the cause of some pretty bad jet lag that's been tormenting me for the past four days.

Monday, 29 May 2017

We're off to see the wizard . . .

I tried clicking my heels three times, but nothing happened so I had to take a plane instead. Slipper travel is so unreliable.

Wednesday, 24 May 2017


That burger was taller than my head.
At the time of this particular adventure, it was three days before the grand voyage was due to begin - a time typically reserved for the three P's - preparation, packing, and panicking. With that in mind, some friends and I decided we should go a visit Wincanton for the day.

Saturday, 20 May 2017


I know these mugs! I am one of these mugs!
As of yesterday, I am officially unemployed. Desk cleared, hands shook, wishes bested, and - after exiting the building and strolling for about ten minutes - naughty amounts of alcohol consumed, surrounded by friends, peers, and harrowed bar staff who I'm sure will be glad to see the back of me.

Following this momentous occasion, I now find myself at something of a loss, not sure of what to do while I wait for my due departure - so I thought I'd tell you a story.

Thursday, 11 May 2017

Five things I'm looking forward to

Image taken from Wikipedia
It's T-minus two weeks before the great expedition. Slowly, ever so slowly, I'm starting to get my shit together. Most of the actual supplies I need have arrived/are on their way. Sleep is getting more and more elusive, as the demons of stress and anxiety crawl their way up from my stomach and drill their way into the back of my eyeballs. With that in mind, I thought I'd muse upon the five things I'm looking forward to the most!

Sunday, 30 April 2017

Five things I'm going to miss

Buggering off to another country comes with its fair share of stresses and worries. Have I got everything packed? Am I going to run into any trouble during the trip there? Will I make any friends there, or spend the entire trip moping in a corner eating instant noodles and spam? Does any of it, cosmically speaking, matter?

Well, I'm not entirely sure I'm qualified to answer that last question, and lack the foresight to answer the rest of them, but I can at least think on some of the things that I'm going to miss, because ruminating on them is totally gonna make things easier, right? Here are five things about living in the UK that I'm gonna miss. Probably.

Wednesday, 19 April 2017

The end.

I quit my job today. Strolled into the office as normal, smart shirt and smart-ish boots, gave the usual greetings to the usual people, before walking up to my manager's desk and handing her my notice.

I spent the entire time trying to appear blasé and casual about the whole thing, as though it was no big deal - just another Wednesday. No-one bought it of course; I've been planning this for months.

Around about November 2016, I was feeling like shit. I'd just finished my probationary period as a customer services agent in a call centre - my job was to be shouted at by people who weren't happy with having to pay for their car insurance. It was a weird time - I'm 23, technically a grown-up, but like most people I feel like I'm faking it. I got the job through a friend, who handed my CV in to the company a year beforehand, where doubtless it slipped to the bottom of a filing cabinet until all the good people left for bigger and better things. Honestly, it's been a good job, despite the shouting. The pay is okay, I work with some absolutely lovely people, and they'll find the flimsiest excuses to have a buffet. But it scared me. It didn't feel like me. I worried if I stayed there, then one day I'd wake up forty years old with no idea what happened.

So I decided to leave. I've spent my entire life reading about amazing, far-off places, about travellers in antique lands, about heroes and villains and some rather fantastic cowards. And I always felt a sense of envy, of longing - I wanted an adventure. Where was my wardrobe leading to a magical land? How come my acceptance letter to wizarding school never arrived? Why didn't a wizard come knocking on my door and whisk me off to fight a dragon?

Well, bugger that for a lark; if I'm not going to get dragged into an adventure, I'm damn well going to make my own. I'm leaving for Australia next month, taking a working holiday. And after that, who knows?